Me trying to fit in ahead of time.



Proof. I like baseball

 I like baseball. No, I really do. I'm a big Pirates fan. Seriously. I can calculate ERA and have a vague idea what OPS is. I know that Roberto Clemente is a god, and where the on-deck circle is. I know what a losing season is, what a mop up man does,where the mendoza line is, and that the Cubs are dicks.  I also know that if someone hits you with the ball you have to "suck it up" and "take your base" otherwise the "benches will clear" and that the Cubs are dicks. So that pretty much gets me halfway to being American. I hate the Cubs.

I use the term "bathroom" instead of "toilet", I regularly catch myself saying "chips" instead of "crisps", I'm gaining weight and I have been misspelling a lot of words lately. So the US Citizenship is just a formality.

I like American Football. It's not real football, but it can be exciting. I like that they give the special teams a chance to play. I watch the Vols play regularly and know the words to Rocky Top. I know that the Titans are really the Houston Oilers, because when you're bad at sport in the USA you can just move to somewhere else where people won't notice. It's essentially witness relocation.

IHOP. I love that place. They do donuts properly over there too, which kinds of makes up for the bad chocolate.

yes

I know that living in the south I should be drinking Bud Light, but that doesn't really feel like drinking beer. Sam Adams is the real deal. Unlike most American stuff, this isn't widely available in the UK. Which is kind of weird considering how much we like beer here, and the pish water we do drink. Despite the whole church-y thing, there does seem to be a whole lot of booze in the supermarkets, so I think I'll fit in just fine. It will only be a matter of time before I'm sitting on the porch with my guitar and my gun, drinking some beer, singing, and shooting things. It's the American dream.

 

I love Wrestling. It's true.  So much that I'll probably write a whole post about it. I love the pretendness of it all and the soap opera like story lines. The reason I think that this will help me fit in is Jerry Lawler. I was hoping he could get the Mayor's job because I don't think there's a better way to resolve legal disputes than a triple treat match. In this very ring. Tonight!

Everyone in Memphis and the surrounding areas love Jerry Lawler, they put him on their billboards. They also love estate agents and bad hair.

 

I like Johnny Cash and the Kings of Leon. I've also been to a Saliva gig in Glasgow. I love metal, and 'mericans love metal too.

I don't think I need to say anymore, and I can't anyway because I'm about to start work.