System of a Drunk

During my weekly Facebook nostalgia parade (which tends to take the form of posting youtube videos of songs about Scotland, by Scotsmen, or being sung in Scotland) I was going through some stuff from the Barrowlands and started to remember all sorts of stuff that's great about that place.  It shouldn't be good, it's a dump, it is located in a shitehole, the gigs take place on the second floor, which bounces, and sweat rains on you from the ceiling throughout the gig (but it isn't in Edinburgh so you can't get AIDS). However, the view and the sound is great from anywhere, and it's easy to get to and from the bar to restock on watered down pish (Tennents).

I'm sure the first gig I saw there was when I saw System of a Down with my brother in March 2002. The setlist here suggests they played a pretty long set, with favorites such as 'Sugar', 'Aerials', and 'Chop Suey!', but all I can remember from the gig is that we allegedly had a great time, and the singer was wearing a Japanese looking shirt. We had a few drinks of Absinthe before leaving the house, and had plenty more between Falkirk and Glasgow.  I also get everything that happened that night mixed up with the following weekend where we went out with some ex-colleagues (can you call them colleagues when we didn't really work?), and got silly drunk. We also drank absinthe then, and tequilla, and finally some Aftershock...by tongue...straight from the table on the train, despite having a handfull of shot glasses we stole.

I remember the exchange - We're sitting on the last train from glasgow, which is full of drunk folk and sick, and some guy walks by with a bottle of blue aftershock he allegedly stole from a pub. We were amazed, because we had aftershock glasses we stole from a pub. This was meant to be, so the drink was shared. Some was spilled, and I saw no need to waste it.

This was the week before I went to see Cassie for the first time, and I mind falling asleep on the phone to her, and also being told to that it was OK to hang up due to my drunkenness. Considering that she found my by browsing drunk photos of me, I guess the events of that week were expected, but she showed great understanding nonetheless. I haven't licked alcohol from a table since, in tribute to my wife.

Since then we've (99% of the gigs I have attended have been with my brother) seen Stone Sour, Saliva, Disturbed, John Squire, Ocean Colour Scene, Feeder, Electric 6, Embrace, Black Stone Cherry, Sevendust, Stone Gods, Airbourne and a few more that I've forgot, at the barras, and every gig was amazing. We've been to a shitload of gigs elesewhere but the atmosphere at the barrowlands is unbeatable. The main reason for this is that the crowd is usually pished, and will sing along to anything.

Anyway, I'm sure I was writing this post for a reason, but have completely forgot it. I guess it means that drinking is good and should be encouraged.

That's not a Knife

I've been in the new job for three weeks now and everything seems to be going well. There's still no indication of how long it will last, but even the experience I've had so far is invaluable. I've pretty much been working on my own so I've not really had the chance to integrate, but I did spend half an hour talking to someone about cricket, which is a pretty good indication of the diversity of the workforce here. I'm not even the only vegetarian!

Oh,  I'm not even the only Scottish person who works for these guys, I've just found out there's someone else here who's from Falkirk! Not someone with a great-great-grandfather who drank Irn Bru once, but someone who has actually been in Falkirk for the majority of their life, and still drinks Irn Bru. He also met his wife online and moved here. I ended up speaking to him for about half an hour as well (don't worry, I worked my lunch), and I'm now hooked up for Scottish imports. It's nice to know that is isn't just me, Craig Ferguson, Drew McIntyre and Bill Dundee :-)

Getting back into the swing of full-time work has really calmed the homesickness a lot, although it will always be there. It's good to have my mind on something else and be able to get back into a normal routine, something which I haven't had since late 2009. Getting paid is good too. I am going to get a phone, a geetar, and some sort of games console. But I am going to be very responsible and spread out the purchases, because I'm a responsible person now.

I'm also going to get football nets, a basketball net, new clothes, Burnistoun DVD, The Thick of It box set,  new cricket gear, shoes, dart board, tickets to go see the pirates, and some sweets.



I joined my new cricket club and had my first training session a couple of weeks back. It won't be the same as stepping out onto the hallowed Bailliefields turf (mainly due to the decreased risk of drowning), but it will keep me going until we move back one day. They seemed like a good bunch of guys and have some talented players.  They are about the same level as my old club, so the games should be good. I can't play the full season this year due to the transport and work issues, but even getting a handful of games in will be nice.

I've come up with the idea of starting a cricket club in Atoka/Munford, since all the league teams are in Memphis or Little Rock. Don't have a clue where to start, but I thought it would be worth a go. See, if it's my team I get to play every game and open the bowling and batting. Don't know what the expat community is like in Tipton County and Millington, but surely if there are enough guys for five teams in Memphis there must be enough for one out in the country.

I had one of my first Crocodile Dundee moments the other day. The office was freezing and it was windy outside. So when I left for the night I expected it to be cold outside too, but it wasn't. In fact, it was rather warm. I felt like an alien to be so confused (if for only about two seconds) that it was cold inside but warm outside. . It may sound weird but air conditioning isn't really a big requirement back home, heating  is.

Some progress is being made.

This sign scares me every time we turn into our street. Look at both of them. They knew when they were getting their pictures taken that they would be on a billboard for the world to see. In fact, the whole idea of the photos are to entice customers though the door. Therefore surely the photographer didn't think the "guard dog" or the "have you seen my baseball" looks were going to get the job done? The Budweiser sign on the reverse is a bit more inviting tbh.

They do seem to like their billboards out here though, and the 80's Bonnie Tyler look is popular amongst the women. There are a few more scary ones which I'll showcase at some point. Don't even get me started on the church signs though.

After submitting a ridiculous number of job applications for a ridiculous range of different types of jobs, I finally secured some work. Now, I'm not 100% sure I even applied for the job, as  think this one was a case of me registering on the company's career site. Either way I got the call for an interview after about two weeks of no job search activity whatsoever. So the moral of the story is don't try.

It's a temp job which could possibly last until next year, or next week, and there are no benefits whatsoever. However it is technically the highest paid job I've had, so it all evens out. In all likelihood, the duration will depend on my performance, and as such I at least have some control over things, and if I'm shite at it I'd want to leave anyway!

I think I had been underselling myself a little in my job search, as my expectations were very low, so regardless of how long this post lasts I think it will be very useful in my search for permanent employment here. Having a US employer on my resume is invaluable, especially with them being a large organization both in Tennessee and the US.

So I start on Monday, and for the first time in 18 months I'll be employed full-time! I am still doing some work for my UK employer, whom  I will always be grateful to for helping me in so many different ways since I was laid off in 2009. Honestly, I'd work for them for free (although technically I am since my post is funded by the project I run).

I am very glad that I'll be working in the city as well. I've seen enough of how things are run out here in the country to confirm that I should probably steer clear! First of all, my skills don't transfer to many of the jobs available locally, and secondly I don't know anyone. The "not what you know, but who you know" cliche is definitely in effect here, and it can get ridiculous.  There is also the independence aspect of working 40 minutes away from home and being able to find my way about the city on my own. I still have to get my drivers license though, but the journey to work couldn't be much easier, just drive straight for about half an hour then turn right, park, and go to work!

Anyway, once next week has come and gone I'll have a better idea of how things are going to go. 

Karma

So that's been just over two months now. Any blind optimism that I did have has all but eroded, and despite me being a staunch realist it really does feel like a reality check has just slapped me in the face.

Working in a niche profession was great when I was in it (even though I hated the actual job) but trying to translate that into new employment has been hellish. Getting my old job was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing in that I got a really good job considering my qualifications, and a curse in that despite the free college education I received as part of my employment, the clusterfuck that is the Business department screwed up my degree efforts after two pointless years. By then even starting again wasn't an option because we started preparing for moving here, cue the best part of three years of not knowing what the fuck was happening.

I've been working away at my UK job, which essentially takes care of my bills back home and some here, and I've putting in a fair bit of time into our other job, but even combined they don't amount to much. Kinda shite when that's 40 hours of work each week with bugger all to show for it.

Every spare hour has therefore been dedicated to the so far fruitless job search. The only glimmer of hope in that regard, out of 50-plus applications and counting, has been a job where I had to take a test just to be able to apply, as at least I got to speak to a real person and see a real face. I went into Memphis, passed the test, applied, and have yet to hear back.  I would happily take an e-mail from an employer simply saying "fuck off", just to confirm I actually exist.

Sending out resumes, letters etc. has been useless, as so far it has only resulted in me getting directed to company recruitment websites.  This is absolutely useless for me, as without some background information my resume will get binned 9,999 times out of 10,000 as I only have UK experience and qualifications. All that only comes after having to sift through the five scam job postings for every genuine one. It's easy to be sceptical, but looking over my resume compared any old US resume will take a little more energy and effort, and if I know HR reps like I do, the path of least resistance will be followed. I have some amazing letters of recommendation from some excellent ex-colleagues who more than know their shit, but they are worthless because no-one will even fucking read them.

So after spending nine years of writing bullshit laden funding applications and reports to secure millions in grant funding to try and get hundreds of unemployed  people with all sorts of deprivations (diabilities, low qualifications, history of substance abuse, criminal records etc.) back into education or work, I can't even get someone to read my resume. Kind of leaves me wondering where the karma is.

I'm also stuck in that I can't just take any old minimum wage job for the sake of getting a job, because it wouldn't cover what I'm currently getting paid from back home (which ends in August) and would therefore be in an even worse position.

The fact that there are people in this world who purposefully avoid work makes me sick. Scum of the Earth.

None of this stuff is a surprise to me. I knew how much of a struggle this move was going to be, but to say it's draining would be an understatement. A huge understatement.