Karma

So that's been just over two months now. Any blind optimism that I did have has all but eroded, and despite me being a staunch realist it really does feel like a reality check has just slapped me in the face.

Working in a niche profession was great when I was in it (even though I hated the actual job) but trying to translate that into new employment has been hellish. Getting my old job was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing in that I got a really good job considering my qualifications, and a curse in that despite the free college education I received as part of my employment, the clusterfuck that is the Business department screwed up my degree efforts after two pointless years. By then even starting again wasn't an option because we started preparing for moving here, cue the best part of three years of not knowing what the fuck was happening.

I've been working away at my UK job, which essentially takes care of my bills back home and some here, and I've putting in a fair bit of time into our other job, but even combined they don't amount to much. Kinda shite when that's 40 hours of work each week with bugger all to show for it.

Every spare hour has therefore been dedicated to the so far fruitless job search. The only glimmer of hope in that regard, out of 50-plus applications and counting, has been a job where I had to take a test just to be able to apply, as at least I got to speak to a real person and see a real face. I went into Memphis, passed the test, applied, and have yet to hear back.  I would happily take an e-mail from an employer simply saying "fuck off", just to confirm I actually exist.

Sending out resumes, letters etc. has been useless, as so far it has only resulted in me getting directed to company recruitment websites.  This is absolutely useless for me, as without some background information my resume will get binned 9,999 times out of 10,000 as I only have UK experience and qualifications. All that only comes after having to sift through the five scam job postings for every genuine one. It's easy to be sceptical, but looking over my resume compared any old US resume will take a little more energy and effort, and if I know HR reps like I do, the path of least resistance will be followed. I have some amazing letters of recommendation from some excellent ex-colleagues who more than know their shit, but they are worthless because no-one will even fucking read them.

So after spending nine years of writing bullshit laden funding applications and reports to secure millions in grant funding to try and get hundreds of unemployed  people with all sorts of deprivations (diabilities, low qualifications, history of substance abuse, criminal records etc.) back into education or work, I can't even get someone to read my resume. Kind of leaves me wondering where the karma is.

I'm also stuck in that I can't just take any old minimum wage job for the sake of getting a job, because it wouldn't cover what I'm currently getting paid from back home (which ends in August) and would therefore be in an even worse position.

The fact that there are people in this world who purposefully avoid work makes me sick. Scum of the Earth.

None of this stuff is a surprise to me. I knew how much of a struggle this move was going to be, but to say it's draining would be an understatement. A huge understatement.